“Tin & Tina” opens in 1981 as Adolfo (Jaime Lorente) marries Lola (Milena Smit) in a beautiful church wedding. Their newlywed bliss is quickly cut short when the bride miscarries their twins, leaving her unable to have children.
Six months later, Lola is still mourning her babies. Adolfo wants her to move on, suggesting they adopt children from the nearby convent. Lola relents and they are introduced to Tin (Carlos González Morollón) and Tina (Anastasia Russo), twins with albinism. The elderly mother superior (Teresa Rabal) says they are “unique and special children” who were abandoned at the convent when they were just a few weeks old.
Unique and special is about right. Walking at the same pace as the twins in “The Shining” and sporting “Midwich Cuckoo” haircuts, you immediately sense that these kids aren’t normal. Adolfo thinks they’re too old and weird, but Lola is sold to the creepy moppets.
They bring the twins home to their secluded villa and find that their adopted children have been totally brainwashed because of their convent upbringing. They have never seen television before and prefer hymns and Bible quotes to pop tunes, and thank their new parents with a crown of thorns for Adolfo and a rosary for Lola. Oh, and they love little games like making God “see” while choking each other.
Incredibly, Adolfo and Lola considered Tin and Tina’s peculiar behavior childish for a very long time, even after they poisoned and gutted the family dog to “cleanse its soul”. Killing the pet is all but forgotten on New Year’s Eve when Lola suddenly passes out. It’s a miracle: she’s pregnant again.
Warning: Spoilers coming soon to find out how it all goes.