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We Blind Tested Fast Food Chocolate Milkshakes – Here’s The Undisputed Champion

We Blind Tested Fast Food Chocolate Milkshakes – Here’s The Undisputed Champion

We’re coming to that time of year when we’re faced with one of the toughest food dilemmas fast food fans face. Imagine it – the sun is shining, the grass is green, life is good… and you may find yourself in another part of the world, and you may find yourself driving a big car, and you may find yourself in a beautiful drive-thru, with a beautiful domestic partner, and you may find yourself wondering — “Do I get a chocolate milkshake with my meal?”

Yes, as temperatures heat up across the country, we’re finally in a season where we can order chocolate milkshakes from our favorite fast food restaurants and not look like psychopaths for frozen desserts to sip slowly while bundled up. in down jackets. Life is easy, as the poet said. But with so many great fast food shakes, where is your money (and calorie intake) best spent?

We set out to find out by subjecting our favorite chocolate milkshakes to a blind taste test to see which blend really delivers the goods. Let’s dive!

Methodology:

To focus on the best of the best, we pick the top four milkshakes from our ranking of chocolate milkshakes from last year and one newcomer to the scene. Last year, we named — in descending order — Chick-fil-A, In-N-Out, Shake Shack and Five Guys as the four best chocolate milkshakes at any fast food restaurant. Now we’re testing these four against America’s fastest-growing chicken chain, Dave’s Hot Chicken, to see if our rankings still hold up.

Because we are dealing with a cold product that will melt, I knew this taste test was going to be difficult. Luckily, I was able to scoop up all five milkshakes in about 25 minutes, which was enough time for them all to hold their consistency while slipping into a cooler. I didn’t have time to get home, so my girlfriend and I parked in a nearby parking lot, I put on my tasting blindfold and she handed me each shake, then gave me a helped save my impressions in my phone.

Because all brands serve their milkshakes in distinctly different cups, I made sure she held the milkshake while I sipped, so I didn’t end up trying to guess where each milkshake came from. Need I remind you that I’m a sophisticated professional, just sipping shakes blindfolded next to a K-Mart? Anyway, I took photos of each milkshake after the tasting, so if they look a little rough, that’s why.

Also Read: Top 5 UPROXX Food Rankings from Last Month

Part 1: The milkshake tasting

Taste 1:

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

The dominant flavor here is vanilla soft serve ice cream. One has the impression that the notes of chocolate here take a real place at the back. It is delicate and slightly floral with a faint milk chocolate flavor in the aftertaste.

The consistency is thick and luxurious, but since chocolate tastes like an afterthought, I’m afraid this one doesn’t rank well.

Taste 2:

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

Much better than taste 1, the rich chocolate notes dominate this milkshake. The consistency is a little looser and more watery than taste 1, which makes it more drinkable. I think chocolate milkshakes are best experienced when they deliver bursts of flavor you can savor, and while I think the consistency really detracts from the overall experience here, I can’t deny the deep chocolate flavor .

Taste 3:

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

Very balanced, the chocolate flavors are well represented here with cocoa notes hovering over a base of thick and creamy ice cream. I like the chunky consistency here, it takes significant pressure to work the straw but the richness is worth all the extra effort.

Taste 4:

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

From my notes: “Wow – this one is very different from tastes 1-3.”

The chocolate flavor is complex, offering a balance of rich cocoa, earthy brown sugar notes, a few hints of hazelnut, and a malty milky flavor that makes every sip so rich and enjoyable I said “damn!” after the first. It’s the kind of milkshake you can really savor, and it has an addictive quality that draws you in.

I ended up with a heavy brain gel after this one because I kept sipping on it.

Taste 5:

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

The chocolate here is interesting, it hits your palate with a rich and heavy initial flavor of cocoa and fudge, but the aftertaste is entirely dominated by a creamy vanilla base. This initial taste is good, but it leaves me craving more chocolate. The consistency is great, it’s thick with just the right amount of air that makes it easier to drink than the ultra-dense texture of Taste 3, but the vanilla finish feels like a weak closure for something that should mostly taste chocolate .

I’m really torn on this one, it’s definitely not a number one for me, but whether I want to put it at two or three is going to take some thought.

Part 2: Ranking milkshakes

5. Chick-fil-A — Chocolate Milkshake (Taste 1)

We will arrive
Danish Rivera

The consistency of the Chick-fil-A milkshake is on point – it’s thick, creamy, super rich and luxurious while being easily drinkable. I don’t know how they do it! Unfortunately, because this milkshake tasted so little like chocolate, I can’t in good conscience rate it higher than last place.

The whipped cream and cherry are a nice touch and add a creamy, bright and fruity component to the shake, but unfortunately that’s not what this shake needs. What he needs is more chocolate!

The essential :

A good milkshake, but not chocolatey enough for chocolate lovers.

Find your nearest Chick-fil-A here.

4. Dave’s hot chicken (taste 2)

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

I like Dave’s Hot Chicken, I think the minimalist menu works in the restaurant’s favor and helps ensure that whatever they do, they do it well. On its own, it’s a delicious chocolate milkshake that one would have to be incredibly picky to complain about. But against the competition? It’s the watery consistency that made this one rank so low.

It lacks the luxury that all the other milkshakes we’ve tasted have, but for its rich, deep chocolate flavor it would have easily taken last place for us.

The essential :

Great chocolate flavor, but a thin, watery consistency compared to the rest of our tasting course.

Find your nearest Dave’s Hot Chicken here.

3. Five Guys — Chocolate Milkshake (Taste 5)

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

Five Guys took the top spot in our chocolate milkshake rankings last year and oh how the mighty have fallen. The chocolate flavor here is good, but unfortunately the overriding flavor in this shake is the vanilla base the chocolate is blended into – which made it less chocolatey than our top two.

It’s entirely possible that it was due to whoever mixed my milkshake, but if Five Guys can’t consistently deliver a great chocolate milkshake experience, they probably don’t deserve our number one spot. . If you’re a Five Guys fan, don’t take it too badly, a chocolate shake at Five Guys feels a bit like a waste when you can add things like bananas, strawberries or bacon into the mix.

The essential :

It doesn’t have to be simple at Five Guys. The chocolate milkshake is good, but adding more mixes (which are free by the way) is the smarter decision than going with pure chocolate.

Find your nearest Five Guys here.

2. In-N-Out Chocolate Milkshake (Taste 3)

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

In-N-Out’s chocolate milkshake was hard to categorize. Because it’s not the chocolateiest, I thought about giving it third place and throughout this ranking I’ve been hard on milkshakes that taste more like vanilla than chocolate. But while this milkshake isn’t intensely chocolaty, I wouldn’t say it tastes like vanilla per se. Instead, it tastes balance And it’s a good thing.

The chocolate notes are weak, but they are present throughout the experience. Unlike what Chick-fil-A and Five Guys offer, the flavors here don’t come in waves, but rather deliver a consistent flavor that’s unmistakably chocolate-like. It’s delicious and has by far the best consistency of the five.

The essential :

This milkshake isn’t the chocolateiest, but it has the thickest consistency and the most consistent flavor. The first sip is as good as the last – the chocolate here is perfectly blended.

Find your nearest In-N-Out here.

1. Shake Shack – Chocolate Malt Shake (Taste 4)

Milkshakes
Danish Rivera

Shake Shack’s Chocolate Malt Milkshake is by far the best, richest, sweetest, and chocolateiest you can find in fast food. You might argue that the fact that this milkshake is malted (made with powdered malted milk) makes it an unfair comparison to those non-malted milkshakes, as that extra ingredient provided a flavorful and tastier experience, but I would argue against that maybe all milkshakes should be malted.

The difference is undeniable, I don’t know if I followed that this milkshake tasted obviously malty, I didn’t even know my girlfriend ordered it “malty” which is an option offered by Shake Shack, but it was clear that this milkshake had something else that the others lacked.

The essential :

If you want the most decadent, tastiest milkshake your money can buy, be sure to go to Shake Shack and be sure to order that “malty” baby. That makes all the difference.

Find your nearest Shake Shack here.

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